Always in love? Or was it something else I felt over and over again.
I can still vividly remember the time I was first head-over-heels in love with someone so special. My first crush and somehow, my first love was Kent Jason, my Mr. Sniper, at the tender age of ten, at the tender age of ten and even then I was driven inadvisable acts in the name of love. One day, I scrawled, “ I LOVE KENT!!!” in red crayons on the cover of my notebook---and was soundly scolded for my efforts.
When I was thirteen , I’ve learned to be infatuated with Armando because of his wit and brain. When I was fourteen, it was Carlo John I liked. The next year it was Stephen and a year after, it was Rafael. Even when I enter college, there was Josh and John Emmanuel, Joseph and Petersen. There even Nathan and Nheil Harvey, both give me a wonderful bliss. I even fall for John Carlo, a friend so dear to me that I never thought I loved all through the years. Then, back to Yoshiaki whom I haven’t seen for many years. And the latest on my long and endless list of crushes are Mike, my Mr. Snob, and Jace, my best friend.
I really got a very long and endless list of crushes that I can’t even keep track. From hunky, hot basketball players to gorgeous movie stars down to all handsome-slash-impressing guys who come along my way, I’ve lusted them all. And, it includes, hot-steamy-good looking guys of TV shows like Gossip Girl, 90210, Vampires Diaries, One Tree Hill and so on.
My crushes have ranged from faint curiosity to pure frenzied madness.
I’ve learned to love watching basketball, football and lawn tennis, sat in front of my laptop the whole day doing social networking and avail the twenty-four-seven unlimited text promos just to text some of my crushes I’m in contact with while being a couch potato queen who stays awake ‘till wee hours in the morning watching those night shows on cable or simply having a movie marathon mania.
Crushes simply overturn my life. Like some poignant state, there is the initial contact with the infectious agent, a period of festering and rambling elation, followed by a long period of recuperation.
Even art is of little exploit of combating the foolishness. Human beings are biologically made to be captivated to love. “CRUSH” is actually a mélange of hormones triggered by something as a fleeting look. One minute, I’m coolly walking down the street. The next, I’m dumbstruck by the unearthly beauty of the guy walking along my way. I don’t get to pick. In perfect inverse proportion---the dim-witted I get, the better he seems.
And here is the final twist: JUST WHEN I FEEL I ALREADY UNDERSTAND THE FORCE AT WORK, SOMETHING COMES ALONG THE WAY TO SMASH ALL MY THEORIES WHICH LEADS ME TO A NEW BIG CRUSH. Well, for now, I still have no idea of who he is. I just hope, he would finally be the one. I’d grow faint and my heart thump so hard all from the thought of it.
I am giddy.
I go gaga.
I am completely out of mind. I am driving my whole friends insane with endless recitations of, “He doesn’t like me?” “With his gestures towards me, do you think he likes me too?”
Sounds juvenile, isn’t it?
Well, definitely, that is what having crushes and falling in love do. They reduce us to complete and total imbeciles.
I’ve heard about ladies finding their soulmates, but when the heck am I ever going to meet mine?
Maybe after another never-ending list of crushes, I don’t know.
I’ll just wonder when he will come across my way…
Will it happen next week?
What if next month?
How about next year?
Or I could already know him and in five years after, we’ll grab the same cart in the supermarket and be like, “OH! Is that you!?...WOW! How are you now? Can I have your number?” Or just fake and take you for coffee and some chit-chats.
It’s driving me crazy.
But, there is one thing I’m totally sure of.
When I am going to finally meet him, we will spend time walking around town all laid back, so in love and happy like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
For now, I will just enjoy adding new names of my new crushes to my everlasting list of crushes...
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