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| The hardest thing to do is to say goodbye to a beautiful story! |
I tried to deny the feelings for I was scared of it and I was not that sure if it is really love or just an infatuation. And when I realized what really it is, I started to like it. I admit that it is not the first time that I fell in love. But, I know that this time it is different. I am always inspired. I feel that there was never been a dull moment in my life. I don’t care if I have lots of problem to face the next day. What I always think is the excitement of seeing you around.
Whenever I see you, I feel the surge of energy within me. Your smile lights up my day and simply kisses my worries away. Your glimpse makes me speechless. It felt heaven. You got a magic making me feel so crazy and drifting me to the land of dreams and fantasies.
The feelings were nice at first, but as days went by, I started to feel the pain inside me. It was never been easy to love you when you already set your heart for someone else. I have known it even right from the start but truth really hurts, especially if it really comes from you.
And, stupid of me… I let myself love you a lot despite such fact. I know I should stop loving you. But damn this heart that only and always yearns for you. The more I tried to suppress my feelings, the more it gets wild. Why did I have to learn to love you so much? And feel this pain of longing you…you who can never be mine.
“It was never easy to love someone who doesn’t love you back…”
It is the lesson I’ve learn from this experience. It is really true. I can’t explain how it feels like. All I know is it really hurts. It is as if something squeezes your heart letting you savor how painful it is in every squeeze. And to love you is maybe the greatest disappointment I ever had in my life. I don’t regret the time that I’ve met you and fell in love with you.
There were even times that tears just came flowing down from my eyes for no exact reason. I just felt like crying to lessen the pain I have here inside my heart. I wanted to be beside you and always with you. I want to tell you that I love you so much but I don’t have the guts. I am afraid to be rejected by you. For me, it is already enough to watch you at a distance even though my heart really aches to have you. I am already contented with that.
Day after day, the pain I felt is getting more painful. It is also getting uncontrollable. I know I should do something to avoid myself from deepening into a more serious situation wherein I can’t anymore control myself from hurting and eventually feel numb… So many thoughts troubled my mind. There is the thought of wanting you, the thought of loving you, and the thought of losing you. But along those, maybe I should preferred the thoughts of losing you because I know that to want you is just a dream, to love you means to lose myself and to lose you is to love you. Though my heart is aching, I want to let go this feelings I have for you and will always wish for your happiness.
It is not that I don’t love you anymore but it is just that I already have gone too far and things are getting out of control. I should let go before things come to its worst. It is already enough for me to know that you already have an idea of the feelings I have only for you.
I am grateful enough that you let me feel all this emotions. Each moment I had with you will remain special and I will keep it for the rest of my life. All is a moment must be treasured.
Maybe, someday, somehow, I will be able to find someone like you again…someone who will teach me again the magic of falling in love. But, rest assured that no matter what happen, whether the world still crumble, nobody can ever replace you in your special place here in my heart. You will remain in that place until forever ends.
That’s how it should be…
I…LOVE…YOU…
GOODBYE…
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