...RISKING MY HEART AND ALL...

       Dazed...

       Confused...

       Dizzy...

       Abashed...

   

       He is slowly drifting away.

       Inch by inch, he is slipping away.

       I know, I am losing him. But, then again, I can't lose what I don't have.

       THERE'S NO "US"...

       What we only have between us is just a beautiful friendship. Clear as the stream water and pure as a rose. It is just about being friends. WE ARE JUST GOOD FRIENDS. Best of friends indeed.

      

       He is my dear best friend.

       We are just friends.

       Nothing more.

       Nothing less.

       Nothing so serious.

       Moreover, we are worlds apart. LITERALLY!!!

       Yet, when I finished reading his recent e-mail, I can say something is wrong. It's just I can't point out what that "something-is-wrong" is. I just can feel that something is really wrong. Something in the mail is wrong. Somethng in his words is wrong. Something in me is wrong. Something in him is wrong. Something between us ia wrong.

       EVERYTHING IS SO, SO WRONG...

       If not, then why my eyes is burning with unshed tears? Why my heart can feel that unexplainable tugging? Why there's butterfly in my stomach? Why it is as if I forgot how to breath? Why my mind can't justify it? Why I'm feeling so cold?

      I can feel its intensity.

      I can sense it seriousness.

      It was just too much.

      I want to tell him that I lve him too. Yet, I CAN'T...I just can't. There is something that holds me back not to do so.

      I can't risk losing him.

      I can't risk our beautiful friendship.

      I can't risk it all.

      I can't risk everything wonderful we are sharing to each other for so many years now...

      Call me coward but it's  just that I can't.

      Love or friendship?

      Can i have them both?

      Nah! I don't think so...

      I know I should give up one...

      And, it is really hard for me to decide. It is somehow so unfair for me. But, I also know that I can't be unfair to him. He is already into his limits and he is already asking for answers from me. He deserve it anyway. Its been too long since he first ask me to decide.

       Now, the question is, "WHAT SHOULD I GIVE UP?"

       Is it friendship?

       Is it love?

      Hmmmmmmmmmmm...

      I'm afraid...

      I'm confused...

      It reallyt makes me sick and realy so nervous...

      Honestly, I'm not so ready for these...not just yet.

      But, maybe this is really is it. Sooner or later, it is just the same. In the end, I always need to decide. I have to make a decision...a decision I am hoping I won't regret in the end.

      And this is it!

      Time to risk my heart and all...

      I'M CHOOSING IT...

      I'M SO CHOOSING LOVE...:)