I was so dumb broken.
I feel like crying.
Everything that happened gave me headaches with total heartaches.
Why I had to experience such?
Do I deserve something like that?
All I ever did was to love you with all my heart.
I don’t deserve to be hurt and feel the pain all by myself. You, too, should know how empty and sad I am. Remember, both of us were together in it. It is fair and better if you experience how it feels like to be broken. You caused me all those unworthy pains and tears. I haven’t done anything but loved you. You were my dreams and my everything. You had been the reason why I believe into something. And YES! I really did love you then---SO MUCH.
But what did you do?
You wasted that love I gave you.
You leave me lying alone in the dark.
You broke me---not just my heart but the WHOLE ME.
You never really did care.
You never did love me.
You gave me nothing but tears and pains.
You drown me into total damnation.
You cut me open and just left me bleeding like a heartless bastard.
And sometimes in my life, I believe that love doesn’t exist. I am so lost that I don’t know where to go. I keep on walking with no sense of direction. I keep on living full of sadness. I’m like a zombie that is so empty, so numb and so cold. It was like continue living because everyone around you expects you to do so. I just live my life with no meaningful reason at all. Life becomes so dull and full of darkness. I then just wish I never did meet you and fell for you.
Yet, after everything that transpired between us, I can still thanked you for what you did to me.
You lead my bleeding heart to this person whom I don’t intend to love. He is nothing compare to you. He is just an ordinary guy---not a prince charming in so many ways not like you. He is a friend---an ordinary acquaintance. But he is not a heartless one. He got a heart full of love for me.
He perfectly came when I’m still in the darkness and hardly trying my best to pick the pieces of my shuttered heart and getting ready to start anew. He gave light to my darkness. He led my path with colourful and meaningful directions. He let me live with happiness. He filled in the emptiness within me. He put feelings to my numbness. He warmed the coldness in my heart and in my life. He gave me reason why I need to live my life. He gave life a new beautiful meaning---HE IS EVEN THAT BEAUTIFUL MEANING!
He is my sunshine after the rain in my heart. He is the rainbow colouring my sky after that so gloomy days in my life. He swims with me to shore of happiness when I’m so drowning with tears and pains. He shows me the world full of love and surprises. He dries my tears and put the smile back in my lips.
When he came into my life, I woke up from a nightmare. In one instance, I’m in a world I thought doesn’t ever exist after you so broke my heart.
Love again crosses my way. Finally, it did stay. It is real---HE IS REAL! He is not just a dream or a mere pigment of my imagination. He might not be a prince charming but he at least let me believe in fairytales and in a happily ever after. Haply, it is bliss finding him and falling in love with him…
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